Straight out of the Pit of Voles

Hektor

Nie moje, od razu zaznaczam. Ale urzekło mnie w swojej prostocie i bezpośredniości :D Cudowny sposób na potraktowanie klasycznej Mary Sue XD Napisane przez juniper200. Po angielsku, a ja na razie nie palę się do tłumaczenia. Have fun.

"Eight hundred seventy six."

clink

"Eight hundred seventy seven."

clink

"Eight hundred seventy eight."

clink

"Eight hundred seventy nine."

thud.

The girl leapt down the heap of treasure and brandished the pole she'd used to brain Koehler at the rest of the pirate crew.

"My name is Mary Elizabeth Serenity Susan Turner-Sparrow! Your dastardly crew killed both my parents when I was a baby, but my mother was an elf, and her people took me back to Middle Earth and raised me as their princess..."

The girl kept talking, but the pirates were too befuddled by the girl's looks to pay much attention to what she was saying. She couldn't be more than 16, but she spoke of enough achievements and adventures to fill a life twice as long. Her hair was curly and fell to her waist, but in some lights it was raven and in others it was flaxen. She had alternately the pale complexion of an aristocrat and the tan of a hardened sailor. Her left eye was purple, and the right was green as an emerald.

"She's all...sparkly," whispered an awed Ragetti.

"'twere the pointy ears that got my attention, mate," Pintel replied.

"...and that's when I turned pirate and they made me their chief," Mary Elizabeth Serenity Susan Turner-Sparrow concluded. "So you see, I have to have one of those coins to effect a magical cure for my best friend and soulmate Jack before I go back to wizarding school. Savvy?"

"Well, now that we're acquainted, miss," Barbossa growled as he stepped out of the crowd, "I believe me men and I will have no choice but to acquiesce to your request. But first, a show of our appreciation of your bravery at following us so far."

"That's very kind of you. But I hope you're not going to fall in love with me too. I'm kind of busy with Norrington and the rest of the navy following me around to all the balls in France."

"Oh, you needn't worry." Barbossa grinned his uneven smile and turned to his men. "Gents! I believe you've met miss Mary Elizabeth Serenity Susan Turner-Sparrow."

The pirates nodded in silent, wide-eyed horror.

"Kill her."

bang
bang
bang bang
bangbangbangbangbang

thud

"Arrrr. That one were...satisfyin' somehow."

Nadira

Absolutely stunning, baffling and wondrous short novel^^ I might want to try and translate it once. Or I might not :P
But it was funnyXD

strowberry

^ Przetłumacz, przetłumacz. Tekst całkiem fajny, ale przyznam wam, że dużo większą przyjemność sprawia mi czytanie po polsku. Imho, te wszystkie ficki obśmiewające Mary Sue wolę bardziej Potterowskie a mniej Pirackie :3

Kluska Śląska

awwww cudne *______* czyjaż to robota?

Hektor

Juniper200, na jakimś livejournalu znalazłem i się od razu zakochałem XD

Miss_Derisive